so for the past week,atleast i wake up every morning or in the middle of the night in tears. i keep having these horrible nightmares that tyler dies. i dont know what to do. Something happening to tyler is my worst nightmare. I look at my mother inlaw and dont know how she does it. i admire her for who she is and for how she has handled such a horrible situation. but i dont know if i could do as well as she does. its a good thing i dont have to worry about it. and i hope i really never have to. But how do i make these dreams go away. i keep having more and more and each time they seem to feel more real. they scare me. Last night i had a dream that i was in the car with my parents,my sister and tyler. my dad drove off the road into river and our car suddenly became submerged with water. i couldnt get out of the car..next thing i knew i woke up to see everyone there but tyler. my dad said he didnt make it and didnt bother getting him out of the car. i cried like ive never cried before. it was a nightmare that haunts me. how do i make them stop. it is making real life hard. whenever something happens to tyler i imagine some horrible thought of me loosing him. my dreams are starting to affect my daily life. i cant be away at work for one day without atleast one thought of loosing him somehow. i need these thoughts to go away. i dont know if this is normal? does any other mom have constant nightmares of loosing their child? i just want them to stop. they are killing me. i love tyler so much and i am so thankful for my little boy. he is the sunshine. my joy. my hero. and each time i sleep i seem to wake with a broken scared heart.
SUPER SATURDAY 2016
9 years ago
3 comments:
I don't so much have nightmares, but I am so scared of loosing loved ones (husband, kids, parents) that my imaginations seems to get carried away and I always find myself imagining the worst. Take for instance, my dad was in California last weekend at the drag races, he called to leave a message saying he love me and just wanted to talk. Totally innocent, brought tears to my eyes knowing how much he loves me, and then, there goes the imagination...instantly I start worrying, what if he was inspired to call because there will be some sort of accident, that would be that last I will have ever heard his voice, so I'm totally freaked out untill I know he is safe at home. I do this all the time! It breaks my heart every time! I think I am just so afraid of being alone and loosing the people that matter most, it is a repressed fear, so my mind brings it forward! Unfortunatly, I don't know how to make is stop either, best of luck, just try to find peace knowing, if something does happen, you will see him again! Hurry to the temple with that sweet hubby or yours to make sure there is nothing to stop that from happening, then live up to your covenants, that's all you can do. Which reminds me...sorry, this is a long comment, before Ronnie was sealed to us, I had similar nightmares, I found no peace until we went to the temple and I knew he was mine forever! Maybe the spirit is trying to help you stay focused on your goals? Stretch...probably! But the Lord works in mysterious ways!
you arent pregnant with #2 are you? because when i was i started to have horrible dreams of #1 dying. i think thats actually pretty common because moms have guilt about not being able to give them the love and attention they deserve. or maybe it just has to do with getting married and having another man in your life when tyler has had you all to himself for so long.
When my kids were little I thought that losing one of them would be the worst thing that could ever happen. Now that I have grandchildren I think that losing one of them would be worse, because then one of my children would have to live with the pain of that loss. Loving is always a risk -- and always worth it.
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